The Weight of Glory

The Weight of Glory is the title of one of many of C.S. Lewis’ books. I am a big fan of C.S. Lewis. Weight means heavy or heaviness. “Lewis introduces the concept of “glory”, not as fame or self praise, but as a divine attribute. He delicately argues that humans are not just created by God but for God and that our ultimate destiny is to partake in His glory.” (Quotation sentence comes from a Google search).

During this Lenten season 2024 which began on Ash Wednesday two days ago I would like to share some of my personal journey with you and my own weight of glory in the hope that it will help you reflect on yours.

I will start backwards starting today, the first Friday of Lent 2024. I am a sacristan at the parish Church of The Resurrection in Fort Myers, FL. My official “title” is Lead Sacristan but the only person who leads me is Jesus Christ, King of the Universe, and I am blessed to be surrounded by many others striving for Holiness who inspire me to do the same.

On Fridays at my parish during Lent we have an 8am and 9:30am Mass followed immediately by The Stations of the Cross and Eucharistic Adoration with Benediction.

As Sacristan I arrive at our Church before 7am to open all the doors and prepare the church and altar and sanctuary for mass. I purify all the sacred vessels that the priest will use. I dress the altar and undress it so it’s like making your bed in a sense as my pastor here once stated. I prepare the priestly vestments and light the candles on the altar and set the entire sound system as our priests wear lavaliere microphones. I have to prepare unconsecrated hosts which will be distributed for Holy Communion. There are additional things a Sacristan does as well.

STATIONS OF THE CROSS

After the 9:30 mass today we had Stations of the Cross. Deacon Mike, one of two deacons in our parish led today while I stood next to him Carrying a gold plated or gold filled cross which is about 4 feet tall. I wear a full length robe that is egg shell in color that reaches from my neck area to my ankles. I usually wear a suit and tie as well and white gloves as I hold the Cross. The Cross is not terribly heavy but it is not light either. Deacon Mike or Deacon Dave will read the beginning part or introduction and then the first station and the parish will reply and pray and sing it’s part along with one of our cantor’s. We process from station to station around our church which is fairly large stopping at each station which appears in stained glass window around the perimeter of our church. Today was the first time I had the great pleasure to process carrying the Cross side by side with Deacon Mike. It was a supernatural experience and put me in a minor ecstasy (I have experienced these ecstasies before, not often but occasionally, in Sacraments of Reconciliation, reception of Holy Communion, Eucharistic Adoration and in a hospital stay 9 years ago that I will explain more about later in this article.

WEIGHT OF GLORY!

As I was processing with Deacon Mike from station to station inside of our church, I am not going to lie, it was very difficult for me to listen to what he was reading. People were genuflecting at every station, our cantor was chanting and singing, one woman was following us and most stayed in their pews but followed along, responding to Deacon Mike, praying from the stations of the cross booklet, singing and chanting. I felt surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses yet totally alone with Jesus! I felt a peace and joy I find hard to articulate. All the while I was sweating and my back and legs were aching, yet when we finished I felt light as a feather and like I could run a marathon and no pain at all in my back and legs. As we processed from station to station, fourteen in total with a final station that made it fifteen at the ambo near the altar in the sanctuary as the 15th station is The Resurrection of Jesus, other then walk there was not much I could do because I had to carry the somewhat heavy cross with both hands so I couldn’t even wipe my sweaty brow. In an instant I was transported to Calvary walking the stations of the cross with Jesus himself. The inconvenience I experienced today in my own stations of the cross could not be compared to one one millionth and beyond the inconvenience and pain Jesus endured. He sweat blood. His body was mangled from the scourging, crowning of thorns and punishment he endured. It was real what Jesus went through. It really happened and he did it out of love for each and every person who would be conceived in his or her’s mother womb.

WEIGHT OF GLORY!

Jesus bore the Weight of Glory for you and me. That is how much he loves us. He has forgiven you! Can you forgive yourself?! I bore a tiny little piece of the weight of glory today and I am thankful, grateful and blessed I was given the opportunity to do so. It was a blessing to unite my little bit of weight of glory with Jesus’ massive weight of glory and do it for love of Him and in gratitude for what He did for me, and for my own benefit and for others as I pray and fast and give alms for the benefit of others.

EUCHARISTIC ADORATION

I am so very blessed to have a great parish here and in my hometown in PA that provides Eucharistic Adoration and I am fully aware many parishes do as well so praised be Jesus Christ forever and ever for that. After stations of the cross we went into Eucharistic Adoration in our smaller chapel area. Eucharistic Adoration is so very special. Jesus, in the monstrance, in the Host is truly present with us, body, blood, soul and divinity! It is palpable. The people I worship with know. We are so full of joy! The priests, deacons, other sacristans, parish work staff and parishioners are a joy to be around. I love all of my friends in at least two states who adore Jesus in the Eucharist. We are a family. Bonded by love of Christ who is truly present in the Sacrament! Believe and Adore!

LAST THING

I mentioned earlier I will write about another ecstsay or supernatural experience that happened to me nine years ago in a hospital visit in Chester County, PA. I suffered a minor heart attack and a stent was inserted in my heart’s circumflex artery to increase blood flow to the heart and due to complications I had a 4 day hospital stay the week before Holy Week during Lent 2015 and I was admitted on March 18 the day between the feasts of two great saints in our church, St. Patrick and St. Joseph himelf, both of whom looked out for me.

Because of the complications both of my wrists had to be pierced during the stent procedure all the while I was strapped up on my chest with paddle stickers in case paddles had to be used to charge my heart. My left inside elbow area had all the needles for intravenous, etc. and was bruised black and blue from about the middle of my forearm to middle of my bicep. When I was placed in recovery after feeling the weight of glory on top of my chest, losing feeling in my right foot and almost passing out nurses told a groggy me I had to hold both of my arms up in the cruciform position as my back was somewhat propped up but I was laying almost on my back. I have no idea how long I had to hold this position but it felt like a long time and I went into ecstasy with Christ as He allowed me to experience my own personal stigmata to unite me more to Him and Him more to me.

It has made all the difference. I encourage you to look for the signs. They are there. He is there. He is calling you and holding you in the palm of His hand. Don’t avoid suffering. Embrace it and be thankful for it. It is a gift from God!

Prior to all this I was a baptized life long Catholic who served as altar boy starting at age 11. I always loved and practice my Catholic faith. I had great examples in my mom, dad, brother and other family members.

I have had struggles and sins throughout my life to the point of addiction but The Lord Jesus never left my side and always sent me priests, deacons, family and friends to walk with me on the journey, on my journey and He does the same for you.

Don’t give up on Jesus and don’t give up on yourself!

Perseverance – through your perseverance you will be victorious. It’s called THE WEIGHT OF GLORY! And it’s worth it!