Chapter 9 – Widowed – Luke 21:1-4
This Bible passage about the widow’s mite, has more to do with detachment from material possession and putting complete trust in God in all things, than actually what it means to be a widow, or does it? I also cannot speak to being a widow or widower, but I can speak to what it means for all men, women regardless of being single or married putting our trust in God.
If you are widowed, first and foremost, my condolences, and I am very sorry for your great loss! I have lost close loved ones to death, but those who were genuinely in love as husband and wife, and after losing a spouse, I can only imagine must feel like a part of you is gone.
I would suggest finding a small group of others who are widowed who share common interests and meet regularly. If it is a faith based group, even better.
Don’t allow loneliness or bitterness to define who you are. Cherish the memories, let them warm your heart on a cold winter night. Acknowledge and accept the good times and bad you shared. Thank God for the blessings! And the time you had together on this earth because it is all a gift.
Live, Love and laugh with your children and grandchildren if you were blessed with both, and if not then live, love and laugh with your other family members and friends.
Never forget the special dates, wedding anniversary, birthday, even day of death and burial. Cry if you must. Visit the gravesite if you are inclined, and always bring God into it, even if you are mad at Him. Talk to Him as you would talk to a friend, because He wants to be your intimate friend.
Find a new hobby, or keep at an old one. Call an old friend, make a new friend and keep seeing your friends. Volunteer, there is nothing like giving back of your time and talent to those who need or would enjoy and appreciate it.
Don’t let anyone, even close family member tell you what you should be doing. If you don’t want to move, don’t, if you do want to move, do it. Loved ones should just be there and listen unless you ask for their advice.
Don’t do anything drastic for at least one year after you have lost your spouse. Keep your routine the same. If it will change, let it happen gradually and naturally. If you want to be alone it is Ok to ask for space, always with a thankful attitude.
Just make sure you are making the decisions with God’s help, and not letting anyone else force you to do anything against your will.
Be sensible in all things, especially finances. See your financial planner and have honest dialogue, same with your tax preparer and anyone else involved with your finances.
Most of all keep moving forward, which is not same as not moving on. In my opinion it is OK NOT to move on if you don’t want to, but keep moving forward and stay in touch with God in your personal life and continue to practice your faith and worship with a community of believers.
Charles DeFeo: Catholic Blogger and Useless Servant of Christ 